Mork calling Orson. Come in Orson.
| Observation | Details | Citation |
|---|---|---|
| Mork’s Mission | Mork’s purpose on Earth is part of an Orkan mission to study primitive societies. | S01/E01 |
| D, D, and E | Mork pledges to be Dedicated, Diligent, and Efficient, on his mission. | S01/E01 |
| Individuality | It seems that everyone on Earth is an individual, and not only that, they’re proud of it. | S01/E02 |
| Emotions | Mork met an Earth girl and her biological father, and they came to his defense. She defied the system to protect him. Mork thinks this phenomenon has something to do with emotions and is ordered to investigate this closely. | S01/E02 |
| Trees | Trees are green on Earth. | S01/E03 |
| Coffee | There’s a black liquid that sells for three dollars a pound. | S01/E03 |
| Tango | It takes two to tango. | S01/E03 |
| Feelings | Mindy defended Mork against her father. That was a very brave and kind thing to do. Mork reports that he might be coming down with feelings, but knows that Orkans consider emotions to be hazardous to their health. | S01/E03 |
| Hugs | A hug is when you wrap your arms around a human’s body and squeeze. | S01/E04 |
| Love | What happens is you get hot and sweaty. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, and you feel dizzy all the time. | S01/E05 |
| Kissing | It’s an old Earth custom practiced frequently by lovers, relatives, and talk show guests. | S01/E06 |
| Money | Money is important to Earthlings. They put it in a place called a bank. | S01/E07 |
| Bank | People bring in their money. It meets other money, mates, and makes more money. | S01/E07 |
| Rubber-like Quality | Money seems to have a certain rubber-like quality, because you can bounce a check, or stretch a dollar. | S01/E07 |
| Bank Loans | Not just anyone can get money from the bank. Only the rich, and those with proper identification. Also, a bank will only lend you money to buy a boat, or a big car, not to buy food. I guess food’s harder to repossess. | S01/E07 |
| Little White Lies | Are the same as little blue splinks. Number one, the sports lie. Then, there are vanity lies. Then, there are the kind of lies to keep you from getting your lips ripped off. | S01/E08 |
| OJ Simpson | Some people on Earth worship OJ Simpson. The main difference between this religion and others is that football services are held on Sunday afternoon instead of in the morning. | S01/E09 |
| Trust | Earthlings unite in the common belief that they can’t trust one another. | S01/E09 |
| Babies | On Earth babies are made the old-fashioned way instead of in test tubes. Then raised by their mothers instead of by a Nannivac. | S01/E10 |
| Mothers | On Earth, a mother does it all. She holds and cuddles, takes her children for walks. She does all sorts of other nice things for her children for her entire life. It’s a warm and wonderful thing. Mother’s don’t get paid. Not because her work is considered of no real value, but because it’s considered priceless. | S01/E10 |
| Violence | Part of Earthling’s everyday lives as seen in their violent expressions such as slash prices, drown sorrows, punch buttons, kill time, blow up photographs, hang plants, crash at my place, & bury the hatchet. | S01/E11 |
| First violent experience | The first thing a doctor does to a baby is hit it. | S01/E11 |
| Exercise | Mork demonstrates some common Earth exercises like push-downs. | S01/E12 |
| The elderly | Everything else here gets more valuable as it gets older… wine, cheese, furniture, coins. Everything except people. | S01/E12 |
| Disrepair | On Earth they ignore their ancient ones. They do one nice thing for the elderly, they fix their income. Unlike Orkans, as they get older, their bodies fall into a state of disrepair. I feel it’s because no one asks them anything. Such a waste. | S01/E12 |
| Christmas | For a few short weeks each year, humans try to act human. | S01/E13 |
| Voting | Earthlings have a custom called voting. It’s so everyone can have a voice in democracy. | S01/E14 |
| Laryngitis | Only about half of them vote. The rest have political laryngitis. | S01/E14 |
| Greeting Cards | Earthlings send greeting cards to express emotions like sympathy, friendship, or love, often in place of direct communication. | S01/E15 |
| Doctors | Doctors are revered. Doctors dont go to patients, the patients must visit the doctor. Doctors live in luxury hotels called hospitals. | S01/E15 |
| Hospitals | Hospitals are so overcrowded that humans have devised a strange and unusual custom of gaining admittance. One such custom is called skiing. | S01/E15 |
| Skiing | Humans climb to the top of a huge mountain of snow flakes. When they get there, they strap two pieces of wood to their feet, and then they slide down. If they’re lucky, they hit a tree and gain admittance to a hospital. | S01/E15 |
| Marriage | It is a ceremony a man and woman go through when they love each other very much and they want to have children. | S01/E16 |
| Children | People have children so they can make them do all sorts of things that children will hate. So they can grow up to be better people or even adults. | S01/E16 |
| Resentment | Some children feel they’re being treated unfairly, and I’ve even heard some say they hate their mothers. | S01/E16 |
| Mothers | The only thing worse than a mother is not having one at all. | S01/E16 |
| Word meanings | Words can have multiple meanings. For example, the word run. Run can mean rivers running… people run down… and men can run stores. Also, the female of the species can get a run in her stockings. | S01/E17 |
| Understanding | Many times people don’t understand each other. Sometimes humans find it very difficult to tell each other how they feel about one another until it’s too late. | S01/E17 |
| Strange custom | I believe people should receive flowers while they’re still alive, not after they’re gone. | S01/E17 |
| Emotions | Absolutely everyone has emotions with the possible exception of a few presidents. | S01/E18 |
| Presidents | Presidents are elected officials who are sent to Washington every four years to bring the country to financial ruin, recognize Chinese and throw a baseball out once every spring. They also have a power that is feared very much by everyone called “veto”. | S01/E18 |
| Politics | Presidents never tell a lie, but then again, they never tell the truth. | S01/E18 |
| Ex-Presidents | This is when publishers pay you millions of dollars to write things called memoirs, but the strange part is they don’t have very good memories. And the really funny part is, no one buys those books. | S01/E18 |
| Father | A father is the male mother counterpart. He provides food, shelter, leadership, and according to recent facts, he works very hard, worries a lot, and dies young so his family can go on living. | S01/E19 |
| Fatherhood | Even being a father for an hour is better than never being a father at all. | S01/E19 |
| Parenthood | Mindy defended Mork against her father. That was a very brave and kind thing to do. Mork reports that he might be coming down with feelings, but knows that Orkans consider emotions to be hazardous to their health. | S01/E19 |
| Emotions | Until you can marvel at a rainbow after a storm, or rejoice at seeing a baby walk for the first time, or hold someone and feel their warmth inside you, until you can do these things, aren’t you already in prison? | S01/E20 |
| Thieves | People who steal things. First, there are jewel thieves who steal precious gems and stones. There are cat burglars who steal pets. Finally the Pittsburgh Steelers who steal entire cities. | S01/E21 |
| Loneliness | Loneliness is a terrible disease of the spirit. One man suffers so much that he takes a medication called bourbon. Bed rest doesn’t help because sleeping alone is part of the problem. People who have it think that no one cares about them, they are so busy looking out for number one, they don’t have room for two. | S01/E22 |
| Talking | When children are young they’re told not to talk to strangers. In school they’re told not to talk to the person next to them. When they get to be very old, they’re told not to talk to themselves. | S01/E22 |
| Connection | If people got together, they wouldn’t need a cure for loneliness. | S01/E22 |
| Aging | The dullest people on Earth are the ones who think that they have to calm down and set a pattern for themselves as they grow older. They allow that pattern to dictate who they should be giving them little freedom to be who they are. | S01/E23 |
| Age = Serious? | No matter how many years you have, you have to keep just a touch of child in you. A little bit of Mondo Bozo, and you’ll never feel old | S01/E23 |
| Being OK | I learned a lesson one can only learn from the School of Oneself, that I’m okay. I’m not as bad as I thought I was. | S01/E24 |
| Personal value | I don’t know how much value I have in this universe, but I do know that I made a few people happier than they would’ve been without me, and as long as I know that, I’m as rich as I ever need to be. | S01/E24 |
| Growth | Learning your personal value is a part of growth. | S01/E24 |
| You can’t take it with you | The place where you leave it is called a funeral home. | S01/E25 |
| Funeral Home | A funeral home is like a track meet. You have to wear all black, you don’t need a stopwatch and one of the guys is really lousy in a relay race. | S01/E25 |
| After Death | Mindy says that when Mork’s butterfly dies, he’ll go to heaven where he’ll be happy and everything will be beautiful. | S01/E25 |
| Love | Love can extend beyond universes and even beyond death. | S02/E02 |
| Nuclear Family | I met a sister and a brother, and they own a food factory called a delicatessen. I understand why you call them nuclear, because as soon as I met them, they blew up. | S02/E03 |
| Delicatessen | They manufacture a wonderful thing called sandwiches there. | S02/E03 |
| Words instead of punches | On earth, sometimes people throw words instead of punches, and it can be much more painful. It is easier for a broken arm to mend than a broken heart. | S02/E03 |
| Appearances | On Earth, things aren’t always what they appear to be. The oceans appear to be clean, new cars appear to be well-built, and Ronald Reagan appears to have brown hair. | S02/E04 |
| Double deceptions | Like the government appears to be disorganized, and it is. | S02/E04 |
| Marriage before pregnancy | Some humans believe that they should be married before they get pregnant. Must be too expensive to take the children along on the honeymoon. | S02/E04 |
| Wizard of Oz | I gave the Tin Man a heart. There was this robot, he was nothing but a bunch of nuts and bolts, and I helped him become a person. | S02/E05 |
| Letting Go | When you create someone, and you nurture them, and they grow. There comes a time when they have to lead their own life, or die their own death. | S02/E05 |
| Gone Forever? | When someone dies, they don’t have to be gone forever, they can be kept in the hearts and minds of the living. | S02/E05 |
| Competition | Here on Earth, everyone finds a need to compete with each other. They compete in sports, in work, in everything. The winner gets an ulcer. | S02/E06 |
| Ulcer | It must be something very wonderful because everyone who’s successful gets one. | S02/E06 |
| Cooperation and maturity | Even though you win that ulcer, it’s no fun if you’ve lost the one that you wanted to share it with. | S02/E06 |
| Politics | It’s the art of fooling most of the people most of the time, as often as possible. | S02/E07 |
| Politician | A politician will do anything to get in office. He’ll kiss babies, and mules. When he finally gets into office and you call him, they say: He’s not in the office at this time. Beep! | S02/E07 |
| George Washington | He is on the dollar bill that is only worth 45 cents. He slept here, there, and everywhere. That might be why most politicians honor him by doing the same thing. | S02/E07 |
| Home | There’s no place like your home | S02/E08 |
| People pay doctors | On Earth, staying healthy all depends on how much money you have. | S02/E09 |
| Hospital | Hospitals are places where Earthlings are interred while they’re sick and not released until they give the hospital money. | S02/E09 |
| Tough to be a Doctor | To err is human, but most people won’t allow doctors to be human. | S02/E09 |
| Striptease | Humans will pay money to watch other humans take off their clothes. | S02/E10 |
| Threats | Some humans will use threats of physical violence to get their own way, making other humans afraid to voice their own opinion. | S02/E10 |
| Freedom of Speech | Earthlings prize their freedom of speech, but only a few are willing to pay the price to keep it. | S02/E10 |
| Friendship | You never forget about a friend, even when they’re gone. (said to Nirvana the Necroton) | S02/E11 |
| Contagious | Friendship is as contagious as the flu. If everybody makes two friends and those two make two more… | S02/E12 |
| Wasted | Orson views Mork’s friendship with the Necrotons as being ‘wasted on the enemy’. Mork points out that now they have one less enemy. | S02/E12 |
| Division of the sexes | On Earth everything is divided by the sexes. Mens/ Womens fashions, boy talk/ girl talk, stenographers/ dictators, even his/ hers towels. | S02/E13 |
| Equality | It is hard to tell the value of the merchandise by looking at the shape of the package. Sometimes the best man for a job is a woman. | S02/E13 |
| How long is a marriage? | Oh, until death do they part or a quick trip to Reno, whichever comes first. | S02/E14 |
| Love standards | With love, there are no standards. No matter how strange or bizarre you are there’s always a certain someone who’ll love you for it. | S02/E14 |
| Love Lottery | In a way, love is a lottery. And the only losers are the ones who won’t gamble. | S02/E14 |
| Nuke | Short for nuclear. | S02/E15 |
| I’ve got a secret | When it comes to things like a leak at the nuclear dumping site, the government keeps the information secret. | S02/E15 |
| Let’s make a deal | When a secret, such as a nuclear leak, comes out, the government is more focused on covering their interests. | S02/E15 |
| Is ignorance bliss? | It’s a good thing to conserve energy, but it’s a bad thing to keep people in the dark. | S02/E15 |
| Marriage requirements | They give a little blood, get a license, and then they’re in business. | S02/E16 |
| Marriage License | A marriage license is not like a drivers license. They make you take a test to learn to drive, but the only test of marriage is the test of time. | S02/E16 |
| Worth the risk? | Marriage is an emotional investment, and in these inflated times, it’s a special bond between two people that still yields the highest dividends. | S02/E16 |
| Relative | Humans become very attached to their loved ones. | S02/E17 |
| Lost Relative | When they’re gone, they cling to the memories. | S02/E17 |
| Memories | Memories are untouchable, and humans have a need to be touched. | S02/E17 |
| Hate | Love builds bridges between people. Hate binds them up. | S02/E18 |
| Teaching hate | Certain people on Earth can only feel up by putting other people down. For example, when we call someone ambitious, they call them pushy. When we call someone carefree, they call them lazy bum. When we call someone different, they call them hippie freak. | S02/E18 |
| Hate distorts vision | Mork wishes there was a contact lens for the mind so that people filled with hate would see that when you mix all different varieties of Earthlings together, you get an incredible human rainbow. | S02/E18 |
| Human rainbow | People stem from the same source, and each person has their own pot of gold. | S02/E18 |
| Handicaps | Some people are born with handicaps, and others create handicaps by giving up on themselves. There’s so much in life for us to sense and enjoy if we just wouldn’t be so blind to it. | S02/E19 |
| Vacation | Earthlings come back from a vacation much more exhausted than when they left. They treat a vacation like a job. They try and cram in every activity except for that which is most important: Relaxation. | S02/E20 |
| Get away? | They say that vacation is to get away from it all, except they pack eight suitcases and bring it all with them. Even stranger is the fact that they say they want to get away from their family and friends, but they spend all day writing out postcards saying: Wish you were here, send money. | S02/E20 |
| Two weeks | The problem is that they try and cram all of their happiness into only two weeks out of the year. Why shouldn’t all of life be a nice trip, sir? | S02/E20 |
| Shyness | Shyness is a major problem here on Earth. It keeps people apart when they want to be together. They see someone they want to know, but they’re afraid to approach them. | S02/E21 |
| New in Town | At first it was very hard to feel at home here. People were so strange. They talk in heavy accents. They drink with their mouths. They sit on what we play checkers with. I finally overcame it because I was willing to reach out. | S02/E21 |
| Lonely no more | Her best chance of going out was to be more outgoing. Like that old Orkan saying: If one stays too long in his shell, he’ll wind up nuts. | S02/E21 |
| Deportation | Mork was almost banned from the country. Red tape makes it hard to just go to another country. | S02/E22 |
| Red Tape | The countries borders are guarded by an incredible obstacle known as red tape. | S02/E22 |
| Statue of Liberty | Send me your tired, your poor, and your huddled masses. | S02/E22 |
| Immigration Office | But the guy at the immigration says: Not too tired, not too poor, and not too many. | S02/E22 |
| Adoption | An Earth custom that allows humans who like being parents to find others who need them. It’s kind of like an emotional swap meet. | S02/E22 |
| Reward for Adopting? | People’s lives are richer for having adopted. The United States was founded by adopting people from other nations. Before you know it, you’ve got the birth of a nation. | S02/E22 |
| Teamwork | Our friend got an hour of television time but didn’t know what to do with it, so his friends and I bailed him out. By working together, they made it happen. | S02/E23 |
| Children | I prefer to think of them as humans. There’s an older phrase that says: Children should be seen and not heard. But I think if that really happened, the silence would be deafening. | S02/E23 |
| Value | Just because they’re children doesn’t mean they don’t have anything of value to say. Give ’em a chance, listen to them. If you’re only gonna talk down to them, how can you expect them to look up to you? | S02/E23 |
| Faith | On Earth people need more than faith in themselves, they have the bigger, jumbo sized faith; in God. They can believe in something that science cannot prove because they have faith. | S02/E24 |
| Religious | Many people believe in God even though they don’t see him, they’re called religious. | S02/E24 |
| Prophets or meshugenahs | Then there are a few people who believe in God and believe they see God. | S02/E24 |
| Soul | People believe in something they cannot see. But they don’t have to see it, they feel it in their souls. No one knows what a soul is or where it is. | S02/E24 |
| Faith + Soul = | On Earth, faith is the belief in something you can’t see, which you feel in a place you can’t feel. | S02/E24 |
| Willpower | The greatest energy crisis on Earth is a shortage of willpower. | S02/E25 |
| Affection | Earthlings have the need to talk about their problems with people that they love. | S02/E26 |
| Is talk cheap? | When it comes to helping others, talk is priceless. | S02/E26 |
| Home | You can make your home anywhere in the universe, but it’s most comfortable if you furnish it with your own traditions. | S03/E02 |
| Peter Panitis | Some people on Earth take life too seriously, they worry too much. There’s a little child inside of all of us that needs to be let out. | S03/E03 |
| Crow | All you have to do to let the child out is crow. | S03/E03 |
| Race | There are dog races, horse races, auto races. The most wonderful race of all could be the human race. | S03/E04 |
| Same team | If they’d only realize that they’re all on the same team. All they need is some kind of international referee. | S03/E04 |
| Practical Jokes | Jokes can fill your life with surprises. | S03/E05 |
| Predictable | If life were predictable, no one would watch Miss America, they’d know who’s hosting The Tonight Show, and no one would believe that an actor could become president. | S03/E05 |
| Friendship | The most important thing, is to have a friend that you wanna tell a joke to. And if not, the joke’s on you. | S03/E05 |
| Pets | Some animals on Earth have it very good, they’re called pets. They have it great. Room and board, their dish with a name on it, and all the newspapers they can read. | S03/E06 |
| Zoo | Some animals live in places called zoos, where they’re protected. | S03/E06 |
| Game | Some animals roam free in their natural environment, but they’re called game. I wonder how much fun the game would be if the animals had the rifles. | S03/E06 |
| Heroes | Only the heroes with pizzazz get the spotlight. Earthlings equate heroism with glamorous deeds. | S03/E07 |
| Headlines | Most real heroes seldom get a headline of their own. You always hear about the person who jumps over 13 buses, but you never hear about the person that put them back together again. | S03/E07 |
| Appearance | Earthlings can change their appearance. They wear shoes to make them taller, girdles to make them thinner, wigs to make them hairier. Then they say, Darling, why can’t you accept me for what I am? | S03/E08 |
| Plastic Surgery | Some Earthlings go to doctors to have bumps removed from their noses, and you won’t believe where they put them. | S03/E08 |
| Looking good? | Some of these changes are unnecessary. Most Earthlings change themselves because they don’t think they look good to others when the real problem is, they don’t look good enough to themselves. | S03/E08 |
| Dangers | Life on Earth has its share of dangers, but many of them are blown out of proportion. Many Earthlings can prove any point they want using statistics. | S03/E09 |
| Statistics | You see, many newspapers talk about how many people have died, but they never say how many people have lived. | S03/E09 |
| Worry | Unfortunately, most Earthlings spend their whole life worrying about… their whole life. If danger is all they’re looking for, that’s all they’re gonna see. | S03/E09 |
| Gift of life | The greatest gift is the gift of life, and the greatest sin is to return it unopened. | S03/E09 |
| Charity | Charity is a concept whereby Earthlings with money help those without money. | S03/E10 |
| Thanksgiving | It is better to give than to receive. That’s why there’s a Thanksgiving Day and not a Thanks-getting Day. | S03/E10 |
| Begins with you | Most of all, I learned that the buck starts right here. | S03/E10 |
| College | Those who stay in college too long die by degrees. | S03/E11 |
| College Graduate | Any Earthling who expects a job when he gets out of college is a victim of the abominable snow job. There’s no guarantee that any Earthling who graduates from college is gonna get a job | S03/E11 |
| Job Market | The old ones are forced out of their jobs, the young ones can’t get in, and the ones in the middle, they all get ulcers from working too hard. | S03/E11 |
| Steps | No matter how high the mountain or how tall the task, you have to take that first step to reach the top. | S03/E11 |
| Workmanship? | Shoddy workmanship is caused apathy, lack of pride in one’s work, greed. Most Earthlings consider a job just a way of making money. | S03/E12 |
| Symptom | One of the main symptoms of shoddy workmanship is feeling like you’ve just been ripped off. | S03/E12 |
| Money talks | Nothing speaks as eloquently as a job well done. | S03/E12 |
| Proverb | If you bet against yourself, you always lose. | S03/E13 |
| Winning | What feels better is trying. It’s not what’s in front of you that blocks your way, it’s what’s inside of you that holds you back. | S03/E13 |
| Fame | Most Earthlings try very hard to be recognized for what they do, but when they become stars, they realize they’re recognized wherever they go. | S03/E14 |
| Privacy | They lose their privacy, and sometimes they can even lose their clothes. Being a star is a 24-hour job and you can’t leave your face at the office. | S03/E14 |
| Pressures | When you’re a celebrity, everybody wants a piece of you. Unless you can say no, there will be no pieces left for yourself. | S03/E14 |
| Stars | It’s a common misconception that all stars are rich, live in mansions and drive big eggs. And to get that, they have to pay a very heavy price. They have responsibilities, anxieties… Some of them can’t take it. | S03/E14 |
| Victims | People like Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Lenny Bruce, Freddie Prinze and John Lennon are just some examples of very special and talented people that became victims of their own fame. | S03/E14 |
| What distinguishes | But every person has something that makes them unique and very, very special. It’s called a personality. | S03/E15 |
| Personality | It’s not something you could see or touch, but it’s something that reaches out and touches other people. It makes each one of them very, very, very different. | S03/E15 |
| Differences | Differences are what make life on Earth so darn interesting. Thanks to personalities, the most identical twin is not the same, the shortest person can stand out in a crowd. They all may have the same number of chromosomes, but each person has their own designer genes. | S03/E15 |
| Singles | Earthlings who have no mates. | S03/E16 |
| Separate but together | Single Earthlings will meet other singles to enrich their other relationships which can lead to them being closer than ever. | S03/E16 |
| Alone | It’s no fun to be single alone. I guess that’s why all those singles flock together. | S03/E16 |
| Pregnancy | Starts with the birds and the bees, ends with pickles and ice cream. | S03/E17 |
| Working | An expectant mother knows what’s best for her. | S03/E17 |
| Pause | Earthlings think pregnancy is the end of a woman’s career, when actually, it’s just a pregnant pause. | S03/E17 |
| Competition | The type of competition between different branches of the same family tree, it’s called sibling rivalry. | S03/E18 |
| Sibling rivalry | Sibling rivalry has been around for a long time. Started with Cain and Abel competing for God’s attention right through Donny and Marie competing for the same hairdo. | S03/E18 |
| Healthy competition | A family should be like a team. They shouldn’t be forced to wear pads to protect each other from contact. Everyone should be rooting each other on. | S03/E18 |
| Stepping stones | It starts with one person comparing themself to another and they forgets that the only standards they have to meet are the ones they set for themselves. Greater heights are reached through competition, but I don’t think you should use your family as stepping stones to get there. | S03/E18 |
| Right spirit | Without the right spirit, you don’t stand a ghost of a chance. Most earthlings are born with that spirit, but the hard part is to keep it. | S03/E19 |
| Lost spirit | Old people are sometimes ignored, or they’re pushed aside, and most of all, they’re targets of abuse. They don’t really lose it as much as it’s stolen from them. | S03/E19 |
| Golden spirit | Old people have made a major contribution to society and they deserve a better return than just half-price at the movies. If we really wanna make their years golden I think we should pay them with our gratitude and respect. | S03/E19 |
| Gossip | Gossip, your rumors, your innuendo, your hearsay. Gossip is popular with Earthlings, unless it’s about them. Sometimes these stories can get out of hand. | S03/E20 |
| Freedom of speech | Earthlings are given a special privilege called freedom of speech. But it isn’t really free if it costs someone their reputation. | S03/E20 |
| Exercise with caution | Freedom comes with a responsibility of knowing what not to say and when not to say it. I’m afraid people will always have an appetite for juicy titbits, even though most of it is hard to swallow. | S03/E20 |
| Mindy’s report | In an effort to share responsibilities, Mindy reports to Orson this week. | S03/E21 |
| Relationship | A good relationship is always changing and growing. | S03/E21 |
| Why change? | Sometimes there’s no choice. You never know what hurdles life is gonna place in front of you. Each one is a test of how much you care. And sometimes, even if you don’t have trouble getting over them, your partner may. So you either stop and help them over or you go on alone. | S03/E21 |
| Would you be? | Mork and Mindy would like Orson to be Mearth’s godfather. Orson sees this as a barbaric Earthling matter. | S04/E05 |
| Godfather | Orson gives in, and gives Mork a check for $1.30. | S04/E05 |
| Fathers | Put too much pressure on themselves to be the apple of their child’s eye. They should be concentrating on being loved for what they are, not what they think that they should be. | S04/E06 |
| Jealousy | Jealousy is just insecurity. | S04/E07 |
| Parenting | Being a parent is difficult. Children test you every day, and you can’t slide through the essay questions. | S04/E08 |
| Obedience school? | Obedience school would be nice if you wanna teach a child to heel or roll over. That’s not teaching about life. You have to give them love, understanding, and companionship. | S04/E08 |
| Responsibility | Being a parent is always on-the-job training. By the time you learn the trade, you’re out of the business. But if you do things correctly, you’ll always be connected with the firm. | S04/E08 |
| Heritage | Mearth learns that he is half-human and half-Orkan. | S04/E09 |
| Acceptance | Because he was born and raised on Earth, the harder thing for him to accept was his Orkan side, that and the fact that he can’t order off of the children’s menu. | S04/E09 |
| Encouragement | Although it’s good to encourage your child to shoot for the stars, it’s not always good to choose which galaxy. If it’s up to parents, there’d be three jobs in the whole world: Doctor, lawyer and wholesale jeweler. | S04/E10 |
| Career choice | Parents want children to have a career that they are proud of, but that isn’t a parent’s decision. Mork & Mindy will honor Mearth’s choice of careers even if he wants to become a network executive. | S04/E10 |
| Parenthood | It’s a very tough job keeping the children of today from becoming the children of tomorrow. | S04/E11 |
| Proof | We don’t need to have exotic dinners or pull crazy stunts to prove that we love each other. | S04/E12 |
| Failure | Everybody fails sometimes, nobody’s perfect. Sometimes you succeed and sometimes you don’t. Just because you failed doesn’t make you a failure. | S04/E14 |
| Work/Life Balance | When you accept the responsibility of a job and a family, you must be very careful to fulfill your duties to each one. | S04/E15 |
| People & Technology | The computer age has allowed people so much more spare time to pursue the finer points of life, a greater education, spiritual enlightenment, and the perfect tan. | S04/E16 |
| Technology Dependence | Wouldn’t it be sad if tomorrow’s children spend so much time playing video football they’d never know the real joy of being tackled by a linebacker. | S04/E16 |
| Desire and the ingenuity | What really worries Mork is that people are gonna lose the desire and the ingenuity that allowed them to build the machines in the first place. | S04/E16 |
| Dreams | They’re little images that appear in an Earthling’s mind when they’re sleeping. For example, they can come fast and furious, and sometimes they’re out of sequence just like a Fellini film. They can take you to wonderful, strange places. | S04/E17 |
| Frivolous activity? | Dreams allow one to imagine strange and wonderful things. The most precious dreams of all are the ones that give you a hope for tomorrow. | S04/E17 |
| Observer Thesis | In the final episode, Mork presents his Observer Thesis which covers the ever-burning question of their time, a successful marriage. | S04/E22 |
| Orson’s preference | Orson wishes that Mork would do a thesis on something he is interested in, like: “Why do hot dogs come six to a pack and the buns come in eights?” | S04/E22 |
| Matrimony | Each year millions of couples enter into the state of matrimony. But getting married isn’t the trick. Staying married is. | S04/E22 |
| Marriage | There are four main ingredients: honesty, respect, romance, compatibility. It’s a matter of blending them in the proper amounts. Take honesty for example. It’s always the best policy except when you have a psychiatrist with a big mouth. | S04/E22 |
| Honesty | Honesty is only one small link in the emotional chain which forges relationships. | S04/E22 |
| Respect | In a discussion between Mork and Mindy about an Orkan religious ceremony, they talk about being kind, understanding, and respectful of each other. | S04/E22 |
| Romance | In too many marriages the flame of romance flickers and dies. But Mork & Mindy’s burns hotter than an aluminum bench in Cairo. | S04/E22 |
| Compatibility | According to Webster’s, a noun, state of existing together in harmony. While it is good to have things in common, it is ok to have differences. | S04/E22 |
| Successful marriage | These are the elements which helped make our marriage successful. | S04/E22 |
| Isn’t it a hassle? | The work is hard, the hours are long. But every time I look at Mindy I see warmth, I see love. I see someone who makes me feel like I matter in this vast, lonely universe. | S04/E22 |
| All citations are from the live Mork & Mindy Series |